(There is no such thing as) The One

I know I'm not the only person that finds life to be really hard sometimes. And I know I'm not the only person in the world to have some level of anxiety about life, love, career, purpose and all those other big words that can sometimes freeze us in our uncertain tracks. 

So I've spent a lot of time thinking lately, about what it is that makes our lives so difficult sometimes--even more difficult than it was a century or even fifty years ago. 

And you probably won't be surprised, but I haven't found any answer more definitive than that of the next person (so if that's what you are looking for you can stop reading here). But I have figured out what for me causes so much anxiety, uncertainty and unhappiness when it comes to living a life that is supposed to be filled with passion, adventure and excitement. 

adventure

It's this whole concept of "The One." For some reason we all believe that there is "one" person out there for us. That there is "one" place to live that we will feel absolutely at home at for forever. Or that there is "one" career to have that lasts for 30-50 years. And for people who find that, I think that's great. Congratulations.

But I don't really believe in it.

In a world with billions of people, hundreds of countries, thousands of job opportunities and a truly infinite combination of all of these, I simply don't understand narrowing everything down to "one." 

 It's an impossibly difficult aspiration that nine times out of ten ends in disappointment. That the "one" thing we had been pursuing for seemingly forever didn't work makes us feel inadequate, like a failure and we waste precious time stewing over the one that wasn't found (or kept) while another possible "one" sonders right on by. 

sonder

It's also incredibly restrictive. Look at how big the world is! The possibilities are literally endless! To condense it all down into "one" thing that is "supposed" to be keeps us from being open to new experiences and inviting abundance of every form into our ever-changing lives. 

Don't get me wrong...the idea of "the one" certainly has it's benefits. It's serves as a motivator, a glimmer of hope and potential in an otherwise chaotic world. And I won't argue that sometimes "the one" is found. But I am here to argue that "the one"--once it is found--doesn't have to last for forever. Maybe it's the one--career, love, place or hobby--for a year. Maybe five or ten. And then maybe that "one" will venture off politely (hopefully) to other options, leaving you to do the same as a more developed, experienced and hopefully better person as a result of experiencing this "one," even if only for a limited time. 

Tomorrow I'm leaving for Paris to start the second part of my adventure and finish my world tour that started last May, and I'm approaching this trip with a slightly different mindset. I'm no longer looking for one country, one person, one experience, or one job that will define me, my trip or my second decade of life. I'm looking for handfuls of all of it and inviting abundance to my life in whatever form it chooses to take. 

Idealizing the idea of one perfect job or one perfect trip is fun as a fantasy, but in practice only leads to disappoint and restriction. I want to experience euphoria and endless possibility. 

If I don't find "the one" anything, I'll be ok with that. Because along the way I won't be able to help but find "the many"...awesome places, awesome opportunities and awesome people.